Trapped
by FYeahFaberry
Summary: When Lea Michele wakes up, the day after wrapping Glee's 'Choke' episode, everything has changed. Glee has become reality and Lea Michele is now Rachel Berry. What happened? Is Lea ever going to get her life back? Spoilers up until 3x19: 'Prom-Asaurus'
1. Chapter I : Waking Up in Lima

**PLOT: **When Lea Michele wakes up, the day after wrapping Glee's 'Choke' episode, everything has changed. Glee has become reality and Lea Michele is now Rachel Berry.**  
SPOILERS:** Up until 'Choke'

* * *

_"Rachel? Rachel get up you're gonna be late for school!"_

I really need to take a break. I work way too much I even started dreaming about Rachel Berry, the character I'm portraying in Glee. I've heard people say that some actors have gone crazy after shooting intense movies. Lately Glee has been pretty intense. I'm not really sure what Ryan is trying to do but the way he is doing it is so confusing it feels like my head hurts all the time. I really need a break.

_"Rachel!"_

Okay, now I'm even hallucinating when I'm awake. But as I open my eyes, I realize that I am… In Rachel Berry's bedroom. "Ryan?" I call, looking for the crew. It doesn't feel like I'm on set though. The ceiling is still there, the tungsten lights are not… What is going on?

_"Rachel I'm going to open the door now, I'm starting to get worried."_

Someone is banging on the door. What is happening? Rolling over in the bed to face the entrance of the room, I see the door opening on… Brian Mitchell?

_"Rachel baby, are you okay?"_ He says, apparently very worried as he walks towards me. He presses the palm of his hand against my forehead. _"You seem fine…"_ He looks at me, confused. _"What's going on Rachel? Did something happen with Finn?"_ Okay, now this is really creeping me out. I can't see the camera?

_"Where's the camera?"_ I ask, sitting down.

_"What camera?"_ The man answers, even more confused. It doesn't make sense, what is going on? _"Rachel… You need to go to school."_ He says, sitting down next to me. _"I know that it may seem like this is the end of the world…" _He puts his hand on my shoulder, looking at me with those comforting eyes… _"You are a star baby, you will make it." _

Am I too tired to be able to think properly or is this not in the script? Which episode is this? I look around to see Ryan hiding somewhere but… I am not on set. I am in Rachel Berry's house… I slowly nod and look down, trying to avoid Brian's gaze. Is this person sitting next to me Brian? Why would he act like that without the cameras around? Whenever we had worked together, he didn't even need to practice the scene before, he was that good. So why what this happening now?

_"Alright."_ He says, getting up._ "I will let you get dressed. Finn should be there in 10 minutes so please, hurry up a bit?" _He adds before giving me this uncomfortable smile and leaving the room.

As soon as the bedroom's door is closed, I get up of the bed. I have to understand. I go to the desk and open the drawers. Being able to open those drawers isn't really comforting because I can remember trying once before realizing that the desk was just a prop and that the drawers couldn't actually be opened. But now they could. Inside of the first drawer, there is a computer. I take it out, open it, it is a real computer. Not a prop. I turn it on. Password. What is the password? I have no idea. But if this is Rachel Berry's laptop then… Goldstar. Right on! The internet browser is already opened, on a Facebook page. Rachel Berry's Facebook page.

**Finn Hudson: **Am I late? Why are you online?

I look at the messenger window that just opened in front of my eyes. I click on Finn Hudson's page. There must be some kind of proof that I'm not crazy… Right? The best way to find that out is to click on the profile pictures' album and go to the last one. September 1st, 2007. The show started in 2009… Under the picture, there is a couple of comments from people I don't know and… Noah Puckerman. From September 9th 2007…

**Finn Hudson: **Rachel? I'm about to leave…

**Rachel Berry: **I'm fine. I'll see you soon.

I would describe how I feel right now but I can't. I just… can't. My fingers are clicking on a bunch of links and I can see my friends' faces in front of me. But they're not my friends anymore, they're the characters my friends play in the show. Here is Mercedes, who apparently needs help with the next geography exam. Brittany posted a picture of Lord Tubbington and Santana was the first to comment, starting a fight about how the cat was way too fat. And the last status on Rachel's page is "NYADA Audition, here I come!" The comments below started up as encouragement but the most recent ones seem like condolences. It all seems to follow the script of the last Glee episode I shot, "Choke". And it's only confirming my doubts:

I am not Lea Michele anymore. I am Rachel Berry.


	2. Chapter II : It's Time to Change

After finding something to dress in Rachel's closet, I go down the stairs, grabbing the back pack next to the bed. Until I figure out what's really happening, I'm going to have to act. All the time. Is someone trying to prank me? Is this a joke? Is this a dream? I still have no idea. But whatever the game is, I should probably try and play it properly. Cory is waiting for me next to the door. This isn't hard, being my boyfriend in real life, giving him some affection isn't going to be that against nature.

_"Hey baby." _He says as I hug him. He doesn't hug like Cory though, he hugs like Finn. And it feels weird. I fake a smile, breaking the hug and follow him outside without a word.

The weather proves me that we are definitely not in California. It is 'drizzling' and I don't like that either.

The car ride is silent, Finn is focused on the road and I feel like I just don't have anything to say to him. And somehow I'm pretty sure that he feels the same. He is barely acknowledging my presence. Finchel is Glee's power couple though, but they seem so distant. I understand why I'm having trouble dealing with this whole situation but why is he acting like that? Is that how their relationship is all the time? Silent? Awkward? I don't know. Because Ryan never told me.

I follow Finn into William McKinley High School. As soon as he opens the front door, I gasp. It looks so different without all the production lights and cameras and everything, but somehow, it looks just the same. It just feels, so real. As soon as we entered the school, Finn turns around and says:

_"Look, Rachel. I have to go meet Puck before class but… I'll see you in Glee Club?"_

I nod, not knowing what to say. And right after that, he's gone and I'm left alone in the middle of the hallways not knowing where to go. If the building is organized like the set, Rachel's locker shouldn't be that far from here. I take the first right and start walking towards the locker when I hear someone calling:

_"Rachel!" _

I turn around. Dianna. A big smile appears on my face and I walk towards her to give her a hug when I remember. This isn't Dianna. This is Quinn. The blonde girl smiles back though and looks at me from her wheelchair.

_"I heard about your audition. I wanted to see if you needed to talk or something." _She says. "_I'm always there if you need me, okay?" _

_"I'm…"_ I close my eyes for a second. I need to become my character. I need to stop thinking about how weird the situation is and act like Rachel. Opening my eyes on Quinn again, I simply nod._ "I guess I could use the talk." _

She smiles and rolls her chair closer to me so she can grab my hand. The way she looks at me feels comforting. She looks like she cares so much. Much more than the script had even described it. And it is very intriguing.

_"Do you want to do it over lunch, or is after school better for you?"_ She asks.

_"I…" _This is harder than I thought it would be. I have no idea what Rachel's schedule is, I have no idea how her life is on a regular basis. I am never going to survive in this school. Closing my eyes one more time, I try my best to make some tears appear at the corner of my eyes. _"Can we skip class?"_ I ask, whipping the tears with the back of my hand.

Seeing me cry makes Quinn's expression change drastically. She automatically nods. _"Whatever you want Rachel. Roll me to the parking lot?" _

I nod and grab her chair's handle before pushing her in the opposite direction.

_"Why are you so nice?"_ I ask as we're exiting the building.

_"I'm your friend Rachel, remember?" _She says. _"Of course I'm going to be there for you when you need me the most. I know that what happened must be pretty hard for you to deal with on your own."_

_"I'm not on my own though, I have Finn." _I answer, mostly so I can get some more informations about the character I'm stuck in.

Quinn takes a while before she answers and I can hear her sigh. _"Look, Rachel…"_ she starts as we are getting close to the parking lot. She turns around and stops to look into my eyes. _"Sometimes I wonder, what happened to you?" _

_"I'm sorry?"_

_"You have changed so much since Sophomore year. What happened?"_

_"I don't get it…"_

Quinn nervously bites her lip._ "Finn isn't always going to be the answer to everything. I feel like you forgot what your goals were and I believe that it is the reason why you choked."_

_"I…" _I don't know what to say. Because she is right.

I remember Ryan telling me that Rachel was the most ambitious person ever, dreaming of being a Broadway star day and night. But that was so season 1. Now all Rachel had to do was to support her boyfriend, putting her dreams aside. It feels like now that I am trapped inside of Rachel Berry, I can see it. And the fact that Quinn is the one trying to comfort me right now just proves it. Rachel has gone out of her way. Maybe it is time for me to change that.


	3. Chapter III : Where is Rachel?

When we realized that Rachel didn't have a car and that Quinn - it might seem obvious but i had completely forgotten it - couldn't drive, we decided to go under the bleachers so we could talk privately. I pushed Quinn's wheelchair in silence, trying to process what she had just told me. The fact that she couldn't see my face was probably a good thing. Because I was in shock. Quinn was right. The reason why Rachel hadn't been able to sing was Finn. It had always been Finn.

Now, we're under the bleachers and Quinn is facing me.

_"I'm sorry I wasn't there Rachel."_ She says. Nobody has ever looked at me the way she does. This is probably why I can't seem to be able to understand what she's feeling. Even though I know her character, I don't know her. There are so many questions left without an answer. After everything that she has been through, she is still there, skipping classes when she is an excellent student just because Rachel asked her to._ "You should have told me when your audition was. Why didn't you?"_ She asks.

_"I figured that you had other things to do, I didn't want to… Bother you." _I answer.

I honestly have no idea what to tell her so please don't blame me. I have no idea what their relationship has been like ever since the accident. Because Ryan didn't write it. Which, I can see it now, is a terrible mistake because the whole episode 'On My Way' is built around them and after the hiatus all we had to shoot was a couple of hugs. Dianna and I had expected a bathroom scene. Something really emotional. And the week before we received the script for the 15th episode of season 3, we were both really nervous and excited at the same time. And we received it, nothing. And right now, I am honestly mad at Ryan for not writing those scenes because I simply don't know what to say to Quinn.

_"You're not bothering me Rachel." _Quinn says, grabbing my hand once again. _"I promised you that I was not going to leave and I don't like to break the promises I make." _She smiled.

See, I didn't know that. What am I supposed to do? Ryan if you ever read those words, I am mad at you. Because even though I think that this situation cannot get worse, I feel like it is going to be if I don't say the right thing._ "I'm sorry."_ I simply say, looking at the ground.

_"It's okay. I can only imagine how you feel right now. But you're going to get through this, okay? You're a star remember?"_ She says with a reassuring smile.

_"Do you wanna sit?" _She asks, inviting me to sit on her lap. I nod and once I am comfortable she wraps her arms around me.

_"Trust me when I tell you that it's gonna be okay." _She says while I bury my head in her neck, mostly because I don't want her to analyze my expressions right now and also because I really need it right now. I don't know why I'm here, I don't know how this possibly happened, I feel like I'm going crazy. And the way Quinn's hand is playing through my hair is really making everything better. I am used to snuggling with Dianna but Quinn smells different. But unlike Cory and Finn, they kind of act the same. Di has always loved to play with my hair when we snuggle in front of a movie or something. She is always so gentle, like if she was scared that I could break under her touch. And Quinn well, she does the same thing.

_"It might seem like there is no hope left…"_ She says, _"But trust me, there is. I know that you probably don't want to hear about this right now but…"_ She takes a deep breath."_So many things have happened to me in the last couple of years and I thought about giving up. Everytime I was getting over something, something worse happened. I didn't understand why and I was way more depressed than you ever thought I was." _

End of season 1, Quinn gives up Beth for adoption. How did she deal with the situation? Nobody knows. Because, at the beginning of season 2, the writers only focused on the fact that she meets Sam. End of season 2, she breaks up with Finn. She barely has any friends. Beginning of season 3, Beth is back in town. How does she deal with it? She dyes her hair and goes crazy. Now that Quinn is telling me all of this, it all starts to make sense. Ryan had tortured his character for many years, ignoring her reactions completely. The fact that I didn't know the girl who had her arms wrapped around me was really intriguing. Her character had always fascinated me but somehow she fascinates me so much more now.

_"You actually, helped me a lot. Rachel." _She says, taking her hand out of my hair. _"You taught me how to love myself, and how to believe in my dreams no matter what. You should probably start thinking about doing so yourself."_

I can't believe what I'm hearing. Rachel is supposed to be the most confident character of the show and now Quinn is telling me the complete opposite. She is in a wheelchair, doesn't know if she will ever walk again and yet, she is the one taking her time to comfort Rachel. I can only recall the silence between me and Finn in the car ride this morning. He doesn't even look like he cares. But Quinn, she is ready to do anything to help her friend and I don't understand why Ryan didn't chose to talk about their friendship more. Because Quinn seems like she could be the only person to bring 1st-season!Rachel back.


	4. Chapter IV : You've Been Trapped

**HELLO GUYS! **  
**First of all let me say that all the feedback I am getting is awesome. Really. **  
**English is not my first language and I feel like getting that many people to read me is quite the accomplishment. So thank you, a lot.**  
**I hope that you guys enjoy where this story is going. I am a big fan of the show 'Pretty Little Liars' and so I figured that I was going to use an anonymous messenger to make the connection between Lea!Rachel and the Lea!World. This messenger's name is 'Kaboosh'.**  
**Enjoy!**

* * *

The week that followed my encounter with Quinn, I tried to avoid everybody and spent most of my time by myself in Rachel's room. Finn was trying to hang out with me but he was always so awkward and incredibly dumb. It was annoying to be honest. I am still today trying to figure out why Rachel is engaged to him. I tried to log on Rachel's computer to go on the internet and find some informations about myself but it looks like I don't exist. My friends are still there but on their Facebook pages, it looks just like if I had been photoshopped out of every picture. I'm trying not to think about it as much as I can but I can't deny the fact that I'm terrified. Am I ever going to come back? Am I still alive? What is going on? I have so many more questions but thinking about it is just going to make me stress out and screw whatever this is up.

* * *

I can't stop thinking about Quinn. The words she told me, which were addressed to Rachel, keep travelling back through my mind and I just can't stop thinking about her. This is crazy. I didn't talk to her because I am scared, I don't know how I am supposed to act. The only thing I know about Rachel is that she is now apparently just a girl who is hung up on a goof ball. Trust me, the kid is seriously lacking a brain. But oh well. Kurt tried to talk to me but every time I just pretended to be in some kind of rush to avoid any conversation. I just cannot handle them right now. I am so confused about this whole thing I don't think that I can properly focus on being Rachel anymore. It is hard. I feel like I am literally going crazy. But I have to keep my head up high if I want to somehow get the answers I am waiting for. So this is how it's going to be. I will keep swimming in the crowd, avoiding people as much as I can and… Wait and see.

I'm walking in the hallways in McKinley nonchalantly, still trying not to have to talk to anyone. When I arrive to my locker, it takes me a second to remember the lock's combination. I mean, I've only been here for a week. I'm basically a newbie in High School but nobody is aware of it. Plus, my last encounter with a locker before all of this crazy situation was almost too old for me to be able to remember it. 13 - 27 - 75. I can unlock that bitch of a locker in 15 seconds now. New record.

An envelope falls on the ground. I don't remember putting that in there. I kneel down to grab it. My name is written on it. Not Rachel's name, my name. It says 'LEA' in big bright red letters. That's it. I stare at it for a couple of seconds. Should I open it? I take a look around, checking if any of the Glee kids are in sight. Nobody. Awesome. I slowly open the envelope.

**'Lea,  
****I know that you are wondering why you're here. I know that it might seem confusing and frustrating not to know why you are trapped in Rachel's world. It sucks, I know.  
****First, let's get this straight ***_**cough cough**_***. I'm not going to answer any of your questions. Sorry! But hey, I can get you outta here if you do what I say. ****Log onto the email address below tonight to get the script for Glee S03E19. You will have to learn it and respect it. It is crucial if you're hoping to get your life back.  
****You ready Berry? ****It's on.**

**You've been trapped. Trapped by KABOOSH ***_**evil laugh**_*****

**PS: You're in deep shit baby. I own your ass baby!  
log in:  
password : fucktotheyeah'**

What. The. Actual. Fuck? Seriously, am I like high or something? Is this a joke? I take a look around once more to check if I am getting any unwanted attention. I am pretty sure that the expression on my face is pretty scary. I reread the letter a couple more times. It's written in bright red letters on a completely blank sheet. Who the hell is 'Kaboosh'? It really looks like a joke but… At the same time what do I have to lose? It looks like I really am stuck here and this might be the only way out.

I am really focused on the letter when I hear footsteps behind me, followed by Finn's voice.

_"Hey babe, want me to walk you to class?"_ He says with his usual big goofy smile. I automatically put the envelope back in the locker and close it before Finn can notice that something suspicious was going on._ "You okay?"_ He asks. I swear to god, his tone is annoying the hell out of me. Are all 17 year old boys as stupid as him? I can't quite remember but I'm so glad that my High School days are over now… Well… They aren't. Fuck me.

_"I'm great."_ I reply with the usual Berry smile. I'm good at this. You know it.

_"Err… Alright!" _He answers, obviously confused. _"Let's go then."_

_"Hey Rachel, Hey Finn." _As Finn and I are getting ready to walk towards my 1st period's classroom, I hear a little innocent voice behind me. Heather. I spin on my heel to face the blonde.

_"Hello!"_ I say, pulling her into a tight embrace.

_"R-Rachel?" _She says when my arms are wrapped around her. And then I come back to 'rachelity' (I would've said reality but… yeah.). This isn't Heather, this is Brittany. Is it okay for Rachel to hug Brittany? Rachel always asks for a hug when she wants one. She probably doesn't act the way I act right now. Crap. _"Are you okay Rachel?"_ She says, looking straight into my eyes. It is kind of disturbing, somehow I feel like she knows that I am not Rachel. The way she looks at me, it looks like she really has no idea who I am. Weird. But then again, I could be wrong. I mean, I am kind of crazy at the moment, well, it looks like I am. Oh whatever.

_"I'm fine Brittany. Why?" _I say, ending the hug. Finn is just standing there on the side looking awkward, the usual.

_"I-I don't know…"_ She looks at me with her piercing eyes (piercing/pierce, did you get that? hehe). She keeps looking at me for a couple of long seconds before she simply shrugs. She lifts her eyes to look at Finn. _"I am going to announce the Prom theme tomorrow. It's going to be awesome." _A big smile has appeared on her face. She keeps looking at Finn, ignoring me completely. _"Good luck on your nominees campaign. Don't plan on winning though because I am going to be Prom King everybody knows that."_ She adds before walking away, making eye contact with me one last time, with the same exact look.

_"What was that about?"_ asks Finn, pointing the blonde. _"Why did she look at you like that?"_ He raises his eyebrow. _"That was rude. I'm going to talk to Santana about it."_ He says, looking around, probably looking for the latina.

_"Calm down Finn." _I say, grabbing his hand. _"It was nothing. She probably is just mad that I am going to be Santana's competition for Prom Queen." _I shrug, _"You should be proud of us for being McKinley's power couple." _I add with a 'Rachel' smile. Hopefully that was convincing enough.

_"Yeah, of course baby."_ He smiles and kisses my forehead. _"I'm really proud. I love you."_ Wooooow. Bo-ring. I smile to him, still trying to stay in character and follow him towards the classroom.


	5. Chapter V : Promasaurus

THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SPOILERS : S03E19  
The whole episode is Canon. I am not going to write the scenes because they are exactly the same as in tonight's episode.  
Enjoy!

* * *

I guess that you guys know that I soon as I got 'home' I run into Rachel's bedroom, the letter carefully hidden in Rachel's History notebook. Hiram and Leroy weren't home, which made it easier for me. I threw my backpack on the bed as soon as I got into the room and sat down in front of the computer. And here I am now, staring at the Gmail page. I've read the letter many times and I can remember the log in informations by heart now. The page is loading… There is one unread message. From and it contains an attachment. I open it.

**'Lea,  
****Here is the script. I know that you are a great actress. You will have no trouble following this script, right? Well, it is your only chance to go back home anyways. I will see you soon. Good luck!  
****You've been trapped. Trapped by Kaboosh.'**

I click on the attachment and save it to Rachel's hard drive. When it is finally available to me, I open it. It is a script. I looks like a regular Glee script, only containing Rachel's scenes. If this is a game then I am ready to play by the rules. Whoever that 'Kaboosh' may be. I have no choice. Do I?

The first scene is Rachel in her room, the library and the auditorium, alone. There is no dialog, only voice overs. Voice overs about Rachel putting her dreams aside just because she failed her audition. She says that she doesn't care anymore. She doesn't care because she has Finn. Seriously? I take a look at the top of the page. Yep, usual writers. I probably should've been okay with this before but now it's different. I somehow know that Rachel shouldn't act like this, she is… So much better than that. Just like what Quinn had said under the bleachers the other day. She was right, all along.

I unplug the computer and brings it to the bed with me so I can lay down and start to learn my script. I'm back to work, yay!

* * *

The next scene happens in the bathroom between Rachel and Becky, which I got rid of the following day. It was easy to do, it literally took me 10 seconds. Because now, I wasn't allowed another take. The first one had to be the one. Screwing up wasn't possible, I had to focus on what I was doing. Becky was a great start, because it was such a short scene. But I knew that the rest wasn't going to be that easy.

* * *

The following day was not that simple to handle. After Sue Sylvester had announced the Prom nominees in the morning, Brittany had shared the Prom's theme: Dinosaurs. It wasn't a surprise for me since I now knew my script by heart. I am such a hard worker I know.

* * *

The day after that, the Prom posters were up. Including Finn and Quinn's. And even though I could've cared less, I had to pretend that I was mad at Rachel's fiancé so he could repeat himself and tell her that she was selfish.

At the end of class, I went to the auditorium to sing the song assigned to me in the script. 'Big Girls Don't Cry' I love that song so much I didn't have to practice a lot to sing it perfectly. When Kurt and Blaine joined, I couldn't help but smile at them, even though Rachel was supposed to be sad. Because without any practice, the song still sounded so beautiful and I loved it. At the end of the song I recited the script. Just like I was told to.

Rachel, Kurt and Blaine then invited the entire Glee Club to the 'Anti-Prom party'. It was a really fun scene to shoot. Wait, not shoot, live. I was glad to get it on the first take. But I mean, it's not like I wasn't spending all my time practicing my scene in Rachel's room in front of her mirror.

* * *

I am sitting in Rachel's car. I'm supposed to grab her prom dress so I can show it to Kurt during the 'Anti-Prom' party I am currently attention. But I need a second for myself. I know what's coming up. And I don't understand. I don't want to keep acting the way Kaboosh wants me to. Because it feels so… So wrong. It doesn't feel like I'm acting anymore, it feels like I am making Rachel run into a wall. And to be honest, a lot of things about this scripts are still confusing. Not being able to read Finn and Quinn's scenes is making it so hard to understand, everything.

I take a deep breath and go out of the car, grabbing Rachel's prom dress. I lock the vehicle behind me and go back into the room.

_"Don't show me! I don't wanna see it until I see you wearing it." _Says Kurt, hiding his eyes with his hand. I nod and quickly step into the bathroom to change. I have to look good, because the script says that Rachel looks stunning. The dress is breath taking. As soon as I have it on, I feel more comfortable and so proud to be able to wear it. I am going to go to Prom for real this time.

* * *

What is going on? I am now in the girl's bathroom, hiding in one of the stalls right after the scene in the hallways with Quinn. I liked the script for this scene, a lot. Because it is refreshing to finally be able to talk to her about the Faberry friendship. What is really bothering me is what Santana said when she walked by. 'Stop making out with Berry and get to the Spanish room Quinn. It's time to count the vote and declare me the winner!' I knew she was supposed to say and it wasn't very surprising since both Santana and Brittany kept making jokes about Rachel and Quinn being gay. But I had no idea that Quinn would look at her like that. And when she turned around to look at me, I felt my heart break. Her eyes were empty. I couldn't see anything inside of them, unlike the other day under the bleachers. There was nothing. Walking away with a smile wasn't what I wanted to do. I wanted to kneel down in front of her and talk to her, to understand what was going on. But she seemed, broken. And I don't understand why.

* * *

The end of Prom went just like it was planned. Rachel got elected Prom Queen and I had to walk on that stage with a surprised look on my face when I was expecting it the whole time. Then, Quinn got up. Miracle? Not for me. I tried to smile when I saw her but the way she was looking at me was too… I don't even know how to describe it. But she was singing that song, holding on to Santana not to fall, and looking at me the entire time. With these piercing eyes. No need to say that I felt really… What's the word? Intimidated. Yeah, that's it.

Hopefully it will all make sense soon enough because my head is really starting to hurt.


	6. Chapter VI : I'm Not Rachel

**NIGHT AFTER PROM.  
**

* * *

**Brittany Pierce : **Rachel?

I can't sleep. Logged into Rachel's Facebook account I am stalking Quinn's page. I feel like such a High School girl but right now that's what I am, right? When a new chat window appears, I nonchalantly reply.

**Rachel Berry : **What's up?

**Brittany Pierce : **Nothing much Finn, I have to hurry though because Tana is getting mad. Please let me talk to Rachel.

Oh crap. Rachel Berry doesn't usually say 'What's up'. Stupid me who got distracted by Quinn's page. I am just trying to get the answers I'm looking for. Because tonight has been… Special. Finn wanted to come home with me to 'celebrate' and I can't deny the fact that I am still a bit grossed out by this idea. Because he didn't say 'celebrate' but I feel like I should just save your time and skip this ridiculous conversation.

**Rachel Berry : **I'm sorry, Finn is not here. This is Rachel.

**Brittany Pierce : **So you are the other Rachel?

Wait, what?

**Rachel Berry : **The other Rachel?

**Brittany Pierce :** Yes! The one who doesn't act like Rachel. The chill one. She keeps taking our Rachel away. Sometimes Rachel comes back though. It's pretty weird. Tana doesn't believe me. I don't know why.

Oh crap. Oh crap. Oh fucking crap. I failed… What is going to happen now? Is Brittany going to realize that I am not Rachel? It would be a good thing though, I kind of need someone to talk to… Can Kaboosh read my Facebook messages? Let's hope not. I take a deep breath as I am typing my reply and close my eyes as I press the 'Send' button.

**Rachel Berry : **Yes. My name is Lea.

**Brittany Pierce : **Where is Rachel?

**Rachel Berry :** I have no idea.

**Brittany Pierce : **Santana says that she hopes that Rachel disappeared forever. She's mean.

**Brittany Pierce : **She doesn't believe you.

**Rachel Berry : **Ask her to call me. Right now.

**Brittany Pierce :** Alright Lea. It's nice to meet you by the way. You really look like Rachel it's crazy.

I smile at Brittany's reply. She is as cute as I would picture her to be. And the fact that she was able to notice that I was not Rachel fascinates me. But it makes complete sense. She is the most innocent, she somehow sees everything.

Rachel's cell phone vibrates in my pocket. It's Santana.

_"Santana?" _I say as I pick up the phone.

"What the fuck is going on Berry? If you're trying to prank Brittany I'm going to shit on you." She automatically answers, with her usual bitchy tone. It is kind of intimidating, I'm not going to deny that. But right now I have to focus on what I'm about to tell her.

_"I'm not trying to prank anyone Santana. I… Fuck. I don't know how to say this..."_

_"Well you better hurry up because I am not pleased right now."_ She cuts me off. "You are cockblocking me on my Prom night. Do you know how badly I hate cockblockers Berry?" She adds.

"I can only imagine…" I answer, trying to get her to finally listen to me. _"This is going to sound crazy." _I warn her.

_"Just like everything else that comes out of that enormous mouth of yours." _

_"Santana will you hear me out? Damnit!" _I raise my tone a bit.

_"Go ahead midget."_ I know that Santana and Rachel are supposed to be friends but I understand how annoying I am right now, keeping her from having sex with her girlfriend on Prom night. Oh well, it's worth it.

_"First of all, I'm not Rachel."_

Silence.

_"Who the fuck are you?"_ asks Santana.

_"My name is Lea, I am an actress who is portraying Rachel Berry in the TV show Glee." _Just like I expected, Santana is completely silent now._ "I have no idea how I got here but… In my world you guys are only characters. I woke up in Rachel's life about a week ago and… I have no idea who Rachel is, I am so confused." _

Silence. The only sound I can hear is Brittany's Facebook chat window letting me know that I received a message.

**Brittany Pierce : **Santana doesn't know if she can believe you. But I do.

**Rachel Berry : **Thank you.

Brittany really is a sweetheart. Santana is going to be harder to convince though.

_"If you're fucking with me Berry…"_

_"I'm not."_ I say, trying to find a way to convince Santana to listen to me. _"The playing Brittany gave you for valentine's day, I know it by heart." _I say with a smile. I have my proof. _"Me and the rest of the cast found it hilarious and we listened to it repeatedly."_ I add. Santana was still silent, so I simply recited the name of the songs. _"So there was 'Purple People Eater', 'Disco Duck', 'Monster Mash', 'On Top Of Spaghetti', 'Pac-Man Fever', 'Osama Yo' Mama' and…"_ I bite my lip, trying to remember the last song. _"'Different Strokes', the theme song. Right?"_

_"How the fuck do you know that…" _I simply hear. _"I'll talk to you… Tomorrow. Whoever you are." _She adds before she hangs up.

**Brittany Pierce : **I think that she believes you now.

**Rachel Berry : **I hope she does.

**Brittany Pierce :** I'm going to talk to her as soon as we're done with our sweet lady kisses. Good night Lea! You're really cool, we should be friends.

I smile. Maybe that I am finally going to be able to be myself around someone. Even if it's only Brittany. But I'm pretty sure that Santana will end up believing me. I just am scared of what's going to happen next.

**Rachel Berry : **Good night Brittany. Thank you so much. And yes we can be friends :)


	7. Chapter VII : New York, New York

**Hey guys! Thank you so much for all the reviews, I'm glad that you are enjoying this story.**  
**The last Glee episodes weren't really inspiring, that's why this chapter is set at the end of August.**  
**If you have any critics/comments/whatever, don't hesitate :)**  
**And enjoy!**

* * *

The weeks that followed Prom were pretty intense, for everybody. I kept receiving scripts from that 'Kaboosh' person and just like the first time, I learned them by heart and acted them the way I was supposed to. So I guess that since you've all watched the show you already know what happened.

I didn't get a chance to talk to Quinn again, and Santana did her best to avoid me as much as she could before I left for New York. Brittany believed me and we ended up talking on Facebook all the time. She even helped me practice the script from time to time. She kept saying that she didn't mind knowing what was going to happen because she knew it anyway. As surprising as that might sound, Brittany is an extremely smart girl. She might be as naive as a child, she is definitely aware of what is going on around her and it has been pretty helpful. I was very thankful to be able to spend my time with her, especially since I could just be myself whenever I was around her.

Santana wasn't quite happy with us hanging out and started to grow closer to Quinn. From what Brittany said, they saw each other outside of school almost everyday. And now that Santana was planning to go to New York, it felt like Quinn had almost forgotten that Rachel was going to be there too. I still had that train ticket that she had given me right before graduation. But I was starting to ask myself if I was ever going to use it.

I feel like I should talk about the Finchel break up but you know, it didn't really affect me. Brittany kept saying that Finn wasn't who Rachel was meant to be with, but whenever I asked her who she thought her soulmate was, she refused to answer. She kept smiling and telling me that I should just wait and see.

* * *

Today is Thursday, August 23rd and I am in New York. Rachel's parents just left me to go back to Ohio and I am currently sitting on my queen sized bed, surrounded by my still unpacked boxes. I've been stuck in Rachel's life for 4 months now and it has been an exhausting experience. Having to act whenever I'm around someone who knows Rachel is like working overtime without a single day off. And I'm not getting paid. Now that Rachel is in college, about to meet new people I feel like I am going to be able to do whatever I want. I haven't heard from 'Kaboosh' ever since graduation and I really hope that it means that I will not get any more scripts. I kind of gave up any hope of ever going back to my life ever again anyways. I might as well start another career as Rachel Berry. I've done it once, I'm pretty sure that I have enough experience to do it twice. I'm going to be the best NYADA student has ever seen. Trust me on that.

Rachel's Dads had enough money saved up to buy a nice 2 bedroom apartment in Manhattan. I was at first supposed to live in a dorm but Hiram and Leroy fell in love with the apartment when they saw the pictures and we ended up visiting it and signing the papers the same day. I am actually pretty excited to start this New York life all over again. The only thing is that classes start in a week and Rachel doesn't know anybody in New York. Except…

**Rachel Berry:** Santana! Are you in New York yet?

**Santana Lopez: **I might be.

**Rachel Berry: **How am I supposed to take that?

Talking to Santana isn't the best idea I've had. Apparently she doesn't remember anything from the phone call and me telling her that my name is Lea. Brittany wanted to find a way to prove her that I wasn't Rachel but I thought it best to just forget I ever told her.

**Santana Lopez:** I'm not settled down yet, still looking for an apartment.

**Santana Lopez: **Quinn's with me, she's helping me out with stuff.

Note to self: Call Brittany to ask her why the fuck Quinn is the one in New York with Santana and not her.

**Rachel Berry:** Really? You guys should come over.

**Rachel Berry: **What kind of apartment are you looking for?

**Santana Lopez: **Let me ask Q when she gets out of the shower.

**Santana Lopez: **I don't know. I want to live in Manhattan but I can't find anything.

**Rachel Berry: **Would you mind having a roommate?

Don't ask me why I am asking her these questions. Rachel's Dads said that it was okay for me not to have a roommate but now that the opportunity was showing up, it felt like I couldn't resist.

**Santana Lopez: **As long as it's not a dude, no.

**Rachel Berry: **Then I think we have to talk :)

**Rachel Berry: **I'm going to text you my address so you and Quinn can come over.

**Rachel Berry: **If you don't mind living with me then you can even move in tonight if you want :)

**Santana Lopez:** Why are you doing this?

**Rachel Berry: **You're my friend, remember? I'm alone in a two bedroom apartment and you are looking for a place to stay.

**Santana Lopez:** Is 4pm good?

**Rachel Berry: **Perfect.

**Santana Lopez: **Awesome, see you Berry.


	8. Chapter VIII : Today My Life Begins

At 4pm sharp, I hear knocks on the front door while I am watching TV in the living room. After unpacking my boxes and cleaning the entire apartment I decided to take it easy. That is why I am simply wearing a pair of baggy NYADA sweatpants that Rachel's dads bought a couple of days ago and a white tank top. I get up of the couch and walk towards the front door to open it with a big smile.

_"Me gusta." _is the first thing that Santana says while entering the apartment followed by Quinn.

I close the door and turn around to face them. _"Hi, how are you doing? Are you getting used to the New York life already?"_ I ask Santana.

_"I guess."_ she answers. _"Do you mind if I take a look at the apartment?"_ She asks, looking around.

_"Go ahead."_ She starts walking towards the kitchen and I automatically follow her but she turns around.

_"I don't need a guide."_ She says.

_"Alright, sorry… I guess?" _She simply nods and walk away.

Santana Lopez is one unpredictable girl. You can never know what's going on in her head. Brittany can, but that's another story. I turn around to face Quinn and invite her to sit on the couch.

_"What's wrong with Santana?"_ I ask, trying to start a conversation.

_"It's complicated. I think that she's scared. It's really nice of you to let her move in here, you have such a lovely apartment."_ She says with a smile. I've missed her. Quinn obviously is Rachel's best friend and I kind of feel bad to have neglected this friendship over the summer.

_"Thank you! What is she scared of? Are things okay between her and Brittany?" _I ask her. I haven't talked to Brittany in a couple of days and she doesn't really like to talk about Santana. I can only imagine how hard it must be for them to be far from each other.

_"I don't really know."_ Quinn shrugs, rubbing her hands on her thighs. _"How are you holding on since your break up?"_

_"Good. I'm starting to realize that he wasn't the right one. People make mistakes right? It would've been silly for me to get married at such a young age and I am sorry for not listening to you when you were telling me all of this."_

Quinn smiles and slowly takes my hand. _"You deserve the best."_ She says in a whisper. _"Are you happy now?"_

_"I am."_ I answer before taking a deep breath, _"I really am."_ I repeat with a smile.

_"If you promise not to be annoying 24/7 then I'm okay with living here. I like it." _Santana comes back in the living room, nodding at what she just said.

_"I promise!"_ I say, getting up to hug the Latina without a warning.

_"Alright Berry calm down. So you gotta tell me what the rent is and shit." _She breaks the hug.

_"We'll talk about that later okay?"_

_"Cause all of my stuff is in the car outside…"_ She says, pointing towards the front door.

_"So you're moving in tonight?"_ Am I really that excited to live with Santana or is it the Rachel Berry inside of me who's taking over? I don't know. I guess that living with the Latina could be pretty interesting. And Rachel really needs a friend.

_"I guess? Do you mind if Quinn stays here for a couple of nights?"_

_"Not at all."_ I answer while smiling in Quinn's direction. _"I'm glad that you're here."_

* * *

After moving all of Santana's belongings into her new room, we are sitting in the living room staring at an unopened Champagne bottle that Rachel's parents left after we celebrated my arrival in New York.

_"I'm kind of scared to open it."_ says Quinn.

_"I'm scared that opening a Champagne bottle isn't one of my talents. You should do it Santana." _I say.

_"Pussies."_ Santana grabs the bottle and stands up to face Quinn and I. _"I feel like we can't celebrate anything without a song. Am I really that cheesy now?"_

_"You're totally right, actually."_ answers Quinn. She gets up and enters Santana's room to come back with the Latina's acoustic guitar. Because yes apparently Santana can play the guitar. Haven't I told you that she is an unpredictable girl?

Santana takes the guitar and puts the strap over her shoulder. She shyly smiles and starts playing it.

**"I've been working hard so long. Seems like pain has been my only friend.**

**My fragile heart's been done so wrong, I wonder if I'd ever heal again."**

I don't know the song. But it fits Santana's voice perfectly. And when Quinn starts singing the bridge, I'm basically just having an eargasm. I've always loved Naya and Dianna's voices more than any others. And together? Don't ask me about it.

**"Oh just like all the seasons never stay the same,**

**All around me I can feel a change."**

When the chorus starts, both Santana and Quinn are singing together while I'm just staring at them with stars in my eyes.

**"I will break these chains that bind me, happiness will find me,**

**Leave the past behind me, today my life begins.**

**A whole new world is waiting, it's mine for the taking,**

**I know I can make it, today my life begins."**

There is so much emotions in both of the girl's voices, it is probably the best acoustic performance I've ever had the chance to watch. And I just keep staring at them until the last note, completely in awe. When the song is over, Santana puts the guitar on the floor next to the couch and grabs the bottle. She opens it while Quinn and I are cheering and starts pouring champagne in the glasses that I had put on the coffee table.

_"To our new lives."_ Says the Latina when she is done. We all hold our glasses before taking a sip of it.

_"Why didn't you sing with us Rachel?"_ asks Quinn.

_"I didn't know the song. And honestly it was way too beautiful as a duet, your voices really fit together."_

_"You knew the song. It's on the mix tape I gave you before Regionals."_

_"I…I'm sorry?"_ I honestly don't know what to say, I wasn't there before Regionals. I had no idea that Quinn even made Rachel mix tapes...

_"You never listened to it? I wanted us to sing it as a duet in Glee Club and you never took a second to listen to it?"_

_"Q, it's okay."_ Says Santana, who obviously must feel as awkward as I do now.

_"No it's not."_ snaps Quinn without breaking the eye contact she made with me. _"I thought that our friendship was important to you and yet you just ignore me all the time. I can't believe it."_

Before I can find something to say, she gets up and goes into Santana's room, closing the door behind her.

_"That wasn't cool Rachel."_ Says Santana, still staring at her room's door.

I want to tell her that I am not Rachel but I am scared of her reaction. And well, the fact that Quinn is in the next room wouldn't help._ "I'm sorry…"_ is the only thing that I can say.

_"If you want to keep Quinn as your friend you should probably start caring about her."_

_"I do! I do care about her!"_

_"Good night Rachel."_ She simply answers, before following Quinn into the room.

* * *

**The song is "Today My Life Begins" by Bruno Mars.**


	9. Chapter IX : Don't You Love Her?

**Clueless Lea is clueless.  
Are you as clueless as she is or have you noticed that something has been going on around her?  
Let me know!**

* * *

The following morning, I wake up around 11 and nonchalantly walk towards the kitchen to make some coffee. I cannot function without caffeine in my system. Once the coffee is ready, I try to grab a cup in the kitchen's cupboard and let it fall on the ground, breaking into a bunch of little pieces. _"Fuck!"_ I reach for the broom and start cleaning up when I feel something very sharp entering my foot. Whenever something hurts, I curse, can't help it. So here am I now, in the kitchen, holding my bleeding foot while cursing like a motherfucker. However, I didn't notice that Quinn was sitting on the living room couch, staring at me the whole time.

_"Rachel?" _She asks as she gets up. I would've expected her to look worried, I mean my foot is bleeding like the japanese guys in the Kill Bill movies, but she is looking at me just like if I had just killed someone in front of her._ "Are you okay?" _She asks

_"Do I look okay? Honestly? My fucking foot is cut open and it hurts like a bitch. So no, I'm not okay." _I snap, trying to jump towards the bathroom to clean my bloody foot. Quinn is just looking at me without even trying to help me. What a friend. I enter the bathroom and close the door behind me.

_"Hey baby girl!" _I hear the apartment's front door close and Santana's voice. _"I was kind of hoping that you would still be in bed. I got you some breakfast." _She says. And just like that, my focus shift from my foot to the conversation happening behind the door. _"Where's Rachel?"_ She asks. I can hear Quinn whispering something but I can't understand what she's saying. And then, silence. They definitely are very close now, which is a good thing. I'm glad that Quinn had a best friend that cares about her, and Santana is surprisingly nice to her, which can't really be a bad thing.

I stay in the bathroom for a couple of minutes until my foot stops bleeding and go straight to my room when I'm done. I sit on my bed and turn on my computer. A couple of minutes after, Facebook informs me that Brittany is online.

**Rachel Berry: **Hello there!

**Brittany Pierce: **Lea, I miss you! Lord Tubbington misses you too. After all, you're the one who got him to quit smoking.

I have no idea how I did that, but I find it kind of ironic, because I am a smoker myself. But whatever.

**Rachel Berry:** I miss you too!

**Rachel Berry:** So I live with Santana now..

**Brittany Pierce: **I know, I saw your status update.

**Rachel Berry:** You better come visit a lot.

**Brittany Pierce:** I will if Santana says I can.

**Rachel Berry:** Of course you can!

**Brittany Pierce: **I don't know.

**Rachel Berry:** What do you mean, you don't know?

**Brittany Pierce: **She said that she didn't like Distance. I still haven't figured out who that is yet.

Brittany's innocence is really cute. I can't help but smile when I read what she just wrote. I care about Brittany and Santana, a lot. I feel like I've known them forever and I really hope that I can help them out somehow. I've done long distance relationships before, I know what it's like. It's hard, but it can work. Well, it didn't work for me but Santana and Brittany clearly love each other deeply. They will go through some rough paths but I'm not really worried about them. While I am typing my answer, I hear music blasting in Santana's room.

**Rachel Berry:** Distance Brittany, the noun. She doesn't like the fact that you guys live far from each other.

**Brittany Pierce:** I told her that I was going to talk to her all the time. We're happy together and I don't understand why she wants it to stop.

**Rachel Berry:** Wait, she broke up with you?

**Brittany Pierce: **I think so. She said she met someone else. At first I thought it was Distance but then it didn't make sense because she doesn't like Distance and then…

**Brittany Pierce:** I'm just really confused.

Jesus. Fucking. Christ. I honestly wasn't expecting that at all. I was not surprised to learn that they were having a hard time dealing with their new lives but… How the fuck did Santana meet someone else so fast?

**Rachel Berry: **I live with her. If you want to come visit to fix things between you guys you can.

**Brittany Pierce: **I don't know.

**Rachel Berry: **You can't let her go!

**Brittany Pierce:** Why not?

**Rachel Berry: **Don't you love her?

**Brittany Pierce:** I do. Isn't that the reason why I should let her go?

Why do I feel like Brittany isn't as freaked out as I am by this? She seems like she is ready to put an end to their story when I feel like it would change my life drastically.

Dianna and I had spent hours discussing the fact that Brittana was the perfect definition of true love back when we lived together. We were both recently single and had agreed that we would not date anymore until we found that true love. I didn't quite respect that agreement but we'll talk about that later. The point is, Brittana made me believe in true love and my love life has been… Well it just sucks. What if Brittana breaks up? Does that mean that true love doesn't exist?

_"Fuck you Santana!"_ Quinn's voice makes me come back on Earth. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't even notice that the little party next door was over. It is now awkwardly silent.

When I hear someone closing Santana's door, I walk out of my room, trying not to put too much pressure on my injured foot. Quinn is in the living room, with her luggage, grabbing her book that was on the coffee table.

_"You're leaving?" _I ask. She doesn't look at me and simply nods, putting the book in her bag.

_"Why? I was kind of hoping to spend some time with you…"_

_"Sorry."_ She says, rubbing her thumb against the corner of her eye. _"Have fun Rachel, I'll Skype you or something." _She says, before she heads towards the apartment's front door.

_"Quinn! I'm sorry about yesterday. I should have paid more attention to you, I wanted to bake you some sorry cookies but I won't be able to if you leave. Will you stay?"_

She turns around. Her eyes are red, has she been crying? Obviously._ "I can't Rachel. I wish I could, but I can't."_ She walks closer, drops her bag and hugs me. _"I'm sorry for last night. I'm going to miss you." _She ends the hug and smile. _"If you need to talk about anything you can talk to me okay?" _

_"Okay. Although I am probably the one who should be saying that right now." _

_"I'm fine Rachel." _She says,_ "I'm worried about you though."_

_"Why?"_

_"Why?"_ She quirks a perfectly defined eyebrow at me. _"This morning you woke up at 11, you cursed like a sailor and drank coffee." _

Good job Lea, good job. Like I said, I can't function without caffeine, that means that i can't act either. I didn't think about that. And now I don't know what to say.

_"Look Rachel, I have to go. But I'm here for you, okay?"_

_"Are we still friends?"_

_"Yeah." _She nervously bites her bottom lip and turns around, grabbing her bag.

I watch her leave the apartment without a word, wondering what made her leave so quickly. Will I ever understand what's going on in Quinn Fabray's mind? I hope so.


	10. Chapter X : News Flash

**HELLO! It's been a while!**  
**But hey I'm back because I'm inspired. So enjoy!**

* * *

**__**

_"Santana, can I talk to you for a second?"_

Today is Sunday. I am supposed to get ready for my first classes tomorrow but I just can't seem to focus on anything but what is going on in Santana's love life. I want to know what happened, I want to know why Brittany seems like she's given up on their perfect relationship. I want to understand.

I just came back home from the grocery store to find Santana is on the living room's balcony smoking a cigarette. _"Oh come on Berry, it's just a cigarette. I'm pretty sure that you're enough of a neat freak to have a bottle of Febreeze somewhere so, use that."_ She says, rolling her eyes.

_"That's not what.."_

I'm really happy to have Santana as my roommate, she can be a stubborn bitch sometimes but deep down she's a really good person and I feel like we could be friends. I feel like she could confide in me, and not feel the need to insult me every second if… If I stopped being Rachel.

_"Santana you can smoke inside I don't mind."_

Santana looks surprised, _"Do you have a fever or something?"_

_"No Santana, I don't. I smoke too. Here."_ I put the grocery bags on the floor and empty my pockets on the coffee table. A pack of cigarette, a couple of coins, a lighter. I grab the pack of cigarette and throw it to the latina who catches it easily. She slowly opens it.

_"What happened to you?"_ Santana is now looking at me like she's scared that I'm about to die.

_"I… I'm not Rachel. I know that you didn't forget about the conversation we had on Prom night. And, if we're going to live together I'd like you to be aware of that. And I'd like you to call me Lea if you don't mind."_ At least that's out.

_"Only Rachel can talk that much." _Santana says, rolling her eyes again.

_"Santana please. I'm fucking tired of not being able to be myself. Please." _I say.

Santana looks at me in silence. For a while. Until she slowly opens her mouth. But then she closes it again. She takes a drag off her cigarette and throws it away before entering the apartment. "I remember. But just because you knew about that playlist doesn't mean that I should believe you. It's a pretty crazy story if you ask me, pretty confusing too if I might add." She says as she sits on the couch.

_"I know. I'm as confused as you are. I'm… I don't know how to explain it okay? I just woke up in Rachel's life one day and… I started receiving scripts so that I could pretend to be Rachel and… I don't even know why I just…" _I sit on the couch next to Santana and take the cigarette pack from her hands. _"It's a long and confusing story but I'm here now. I'm here with you, we're living together and I don't want to pretend to be somebody else whilst in my own apartment."_ I put a cigarette in my mouth and light it up. I close my eyes as I inhale. I knew this conversation wasn't going to be easy, but it had to happen. I'm pretty grateful for the nicotine right now though, it's a great help.

_"Okay." _Says Santana after a while.

_"Okay?"_

_"Okay. There is only one thing I am 100% sure of in my life and it is that Brittany never lies. She never ever lies. And so I believe her, no matter what she says. I might be wrong but I don't want to be. So I'll believe you." _She nods.

_"Oh my god thank youuuuu." _I say, putting my hand on her knee. What a relief. And what a beautiful thing to say, Santana is such a beautiful person, inside and out. I couldn't have hoped for a better roommate. _"What you have with Brittany, it's beautiful. I hope to find the same one day."_

Santana shrugs._ "It's over though. I ended it last week when I…"_ Santana lifts her eyes to look at me. _"You won't tell anyone about what I tell you right? I mean, if you're not Rachel does that mean that…"_

_"Look, anything you say is safe with me."_ I say._ "Why did you break up with Brittany?"_

_"Didn't she tell you? Aren't you guys like best friends now? How do I know that you'll keep what I tell you to yourself huh?" _She says, pushing my hand away.

_"Santana… You might not think I do but I know you. I've known you for more than three years now and I really care about you. I won't tell Brittany what you tell me, that's not my place."_

_"Okay this is really freaky but whatever, let's just ignore it and pretend everything is normal."_ She says on her well known sarcastic tone. _"I need to talk to someone anyways and well. Brittany's gone. Hurray me."_ She adds. _"But hey I deserved it right? I mean, I cheated on her."_

_"Y-You What?"_

_"I cheated on Brittany. I'm a terrible person. Now the truth's out,"_ She says. Santana looks extremely sad. She suddenly doesn't seem sarcastic at all anymore. And I'm pretty sure I can spot a couple tears. _"News Flash! Santana is an asshole everybody!"_ She starts crying.

Without a word, I wrap my arms around her. It's not I can do something else. I still can't believe Santana cheated, how unexpected is that? Does Brittany know? I mean, I knew that Santana supposedly had someone else but… _"It's okay, it happens. You're not an asshole, you made a mistake…"_

Santana breaks the hug and wipes off her tears. _"Do you know who I cheated on her with?"_

_"No. Does it really matter Sant-"_ I start but she cuts me off.

_"-I cheated on her with Quinn."_


	11. Chapter XI : It All Makes Sense

**YES I am inspired today so here you go, another chapter :D**

* * *

First day of school. Santana ended up asking me if we could talk about something else and I never really heard what happened between her and Quinn. As curious as I am, I mean it's Quinn, president of the celibacy club turning lesbian for the sassiest latina in the entire world… I guess it makes sense. How could I be so blind?

Anyways, Today is my first day at NYADA and my first class is an elective. It's a Hip Hop dance class, because I've always been fascinated by it and I jumped on the first opportunity to be able to learn how to dance like all of these dancers in the Step Up movies I love so much. I know it's not that easy but I'm willing to work hard to learn. And I mean, I want amazing grades, I'm not here to joke around.

I enter the class room and sit on one of the chairs lined up against the wall on the opposite side of the dance mirror. The teacher isn't here yet but the class isn't empty. There are already about a dozen students waiting just like I am.

_"WHAT'S UP NEW YORK?" _I turn my head towards the voice that came from the classroom door. An androgynous girl with the Bieber faux hawk thing going on just entered the room. She walks towards a couple of girls sitting in the corner of the room. Talk about an entrance.

A couple of minutes later, a black man in his 30s enters the room. He is wearing a grey pair of sweatpants and a black Tshirts revealing the multiples tattoos in his arms._ "Hello everybody, please settle down so we can start."_ And talk about a cool teacher. _"Some of you might already know me." _He says, smiling at the androgynous girl and her friends._ "For the others, my name is Kendrick Houston and I will be your teacher this year."_

At the end of the class, I am exhausted, but completely happy. This is as fun as I thought it was going to be, if not more. I'm exiting the room when I see Santana waiting for me at the door. _"Hey, how did you find me?"_

_"You know I'm not mute I can ask people stuff." _She says, crossing her arms. _"Look I was bored and I thought we could like walk around town or something."_ She adds.

_"Yeah that's a great idea. I kind of need a shower first though."_

_"Yeah you're disgusting." _She nods. I chuckle.

_"Hey Rachel!"_ I turn my head. The androgynous girl is calling me. _"It was nice to meet you."_ She says.

_"You can call me Lea, Rachel is like my middle name nobody uses it."_ I reply. Santana quirks a perfectly shaped eyebrow in my direction.

_"Well, it's nice to meet you Lea, I'm Max."_ says the girl. She looks at Santana for a second, then back to me and smiles. _"Your friend is absolutely gorgeous by the way, I hope she knows it. See you next week Lea!"_ She adds before walking away.

Santana looks at me,_ "So you're going to have to spend the entire semester with an aggressively horny lesbian who has no shame in being inappropriate. How exciting." _She says.

I laugh. _"Come on, that was cute. Why don't you just take the compliment, the ladies love you Santana deal with it."_

Santana opens her mouth then closes it. _"Yeah well, that type of compliment won't work on me." _She says looking at Max from the distance._ "I mean come on, it's time to cure your Bieber fever Max, you're not 12 anymore."_

Do I need to remind you guys how much I love my new roommate? As soon as I manage to stop laughing, I grab the latina's arm._ "Come on Santana, let's go."_

* * *

We're walking towards our apartment, enjoying the nice sunny New York weather when Quinn's name shows up in the conversation while we were talking about the movie "La Vita E Bella", which is, to me, the most beautiful romantic comedy ever made.

_"When we started seeing each other, Quinn couldn't stop talking about how she liked that movie too. She made me watch it like 5 times."_ Santana says.

_"Really? Well, Quinn has very good tastes then."_

_"She does. She's an amazing person in general." _She smiles.

_"Are you guys dating?"_ I ask. Santana has been avoiding the 'Quinn' topic since yesterday but I really want my questions to be answered. Curiosity is eating me alive.

_"No."_ Santana replies._ "We briefly talked about it but I don't think Quinn isn't confident enough when it comes to her sexuality. If I wanted to date her I'd have to wait a while for her to decide what she wants exactly, she's complicated."_

_"I see…" _I say. _"I wouldn't have expected Quinn to turn gay, it's pretty surprising."_

_"Is it though?" _Says Santana. _"Come on I can't be the only one who noticed that Q has the biggest lesbian crush on Rachel."_

_"Wait, what?"_ I stop walking and stare at Santana. _"Quinn has a crush on Rachel? When? Why? How?"_

Santana chuckles._ "I don't know, she won't admit it but I know it's true."_

I shake my head. _"No, it wasn't.. No!"_

_"Yes yes yes." _Santana nods. _"That's why I kicked her out the last time she was here. We were having sex and she moaned Rachel's name. That bitch."_

_"Jesus Santana. You can't be serious."_ I say as the memories of Quinn being extremely nice to Rachel are flashing in front of my face. The worried look on her face the last time I had seen her face.. It all kind of made sense now. It's like it only took Santana a second to answer the thousand questions that had been running through my mind about that very guarded blonde.

_"I am though. I mean, Brittany was the one who noticed that Q was hot for the midget - no offence Lea." _Santana says.

_"Oh man. It does make sense. Brittany can read anybody's mind." _I look at Santana who is nodding. _"She is a genius you shouldn't give up on her."_

_"Look Rachel, I fucked up, she doesn't want me anymore, can we stop talking about it?"_ She replies.

_"I thought.."_

_"Please?"_

_"Fine."_

_"God you might not be Rachel but sometimes you are as annoying as she is."_

_"Oh please, I'm the best roommate ever." _I cross my arms over my chest.

_"That's kinda true." _We both chuckle.


	12. Chapter XII : The Female Brain

**New chapter :) Like I said, I'm inspired! And since I'm done with school and everything I will update more often I promise. No more hiatus.**  
**To answer some of the reviews I got: I like to take my time to let the characters realize who they are and what they want. Because that's how life works. **  
**The Quinntana was planned since the beginning and happened for a reason. But like you've noticed now, Lea isn't the best at reading people. She gets confused a lot, and since she is the narrator I'm expecting you people to get confused too. Sometimes to understand a situation, you need someone to help you look at things with a different pair of eyes. This chapter will hopefully answer a few of your questions.**

* * *

The next day in class, I have to admit that my mind wasn't entirely there. I couldn't stop thinking about what Santana had told me about Quinn's feelings for Rachel. I wondered if Dianna knew, if she would've reacted the same way. The day we had received the news that Faberry had won the E! poll for best television couple even though Quinn and Rachel weren't together, Dianna had looked me and said "How cute?". We didn't talk about it any more than that. We eventually took a picture for our fans but that was about it. I would've never guessed that Quinn…

_"You better start paying attention to the class if you don't want Miss July to kill you." _I am pulled out of my thoughts by a familiar voice. Next to me, Max, a grin on her face. _"You do not want to piss her off, trust me." _She whispers as the teacher, a breathtakingly beautiful woman with blonde hair is walking towards us.

_"Max. How many time do I have to tell you not to talk while I'm talking?"_ She says.

_"Sorry, sorry, won't happen again Miss." _

_"And who's your new friend here? Isn't she a bit small for this class? Did your body forget to grow or what happened there?"_ Miss July adds, staring at me. She is very intimidating and I find myself stuttering.

_"I-I don't, I-I'm sorry."_ is the only thing I manage the reply.

_"Yeah…" _Miss July walks away.

The rest of the class, I tried my best to stay focus. I wasn't going to risk being humiliated in front of the entire class again, no thanks. That teacher was scary, and when the bell rang, I felt oh so relieved to finally be able to exit that room.

_"Ain't she something?" _Max follows me out of the classroom.

_"Oh god, yes… How are you supposed to survive that class? It's not a dance class it's the military."_ I reply as we start to walk down the hallway side by side. If Santana was there, she would probably be rolling her eyes right now, seeing me walking next to a lesbian version of Justin Bieber. And I can only imagine the comments she would make. This is definitely the first thing I'm telling her once I get home.

_"You'll get used to it eventually. Just don't let her get to you, she's not worth it."_ Max says. If only she knew that I've met people worse than that Miss July. The show business world is filled with people like her, and I learned how to ignore the criticism a long time ago.

_"Don't worry Bieber I won't."_ I nod.

_"Bieber?"_ Max quirks an eyebrow in my direction,

_"Yeah that's how my friend Santana calls you."_

_"Is Santana the girl that was waiting for you outside of class yesterday?"_ Max asks.

I nod, _"She didn't really appreciate the compliment you made her, I thought it was cute though."_ I shrug.

_"Why not? Is she not into girls, did I get the wrong vibes?"_

_"No you got that right. I just… Santana is something special." _I say,_ "Especially now, she's going through stuff.. It's a big giant mess. You don't wanna get dragged into it."_

_"Lesbian drama?"_

_"It's… I guess. I don't know. Like I said it's just a big giant mess and even I don't know what to make of it."_ I say, briefly thinking about Quinn.

_"If you need someone to talk to… I'm an expert with the female brain."_

_"An expert of the female brain?"_ I repeat in a chuckle.

_"Yeah, try me."_

_"Uh.. Okay." _I say. _"Long story short, Santana was dating Brittany, her first love. They were perfect together, the definition of True Love to me. Then, a week or so ago, Santana cheated on Brittany with her best friend Quinn who, I had no idea, is gay and apparently has a crush on me. I've known Quinn for quite a while now and I always thought that she was straight and… I didn't expect that you know?"_

_"Talk about lesbian drama…" _Max says_, "How are things now?"_

_"Santana is single and that's about all I know. Quinn goes to Yale in New Haven and I feel like she's ignoring me? I don't know. I don't understand why she would just… Quinn is like my best friend. We used to talk all the time and now I feel like I don't exist to her you know?" _I say looking at Max.

_"You should talk to Quinn. If I had a crush on you that I thought was never going to lead me anywhere, I would still try to understand what it is by coming out with someone else, you know? So that I could be sure of my sexual orientation before telling you anything."_

_"Would you really pick that someone else in our mutual circle of friends though?"_ I ask.

_"Yeah of course. I mean, that way you would find out about the fact that I'm attracted to women and I would try to see if me being with another girl makes you jealous. I mean, she's probably not confident enough to tell you how she feels because she wants to know if you feel the same way beforehand."_

_"But… I mean Quinn is a great person but, Santana was in a relationship.. Quinn just showed up and ruined it to get closer to me?" _I ask.

_"Look, Santana is the one who cheated. It's her problem, not yours, not Quinn's." _She replies.

_"What do I do Max?"_

_"Why don't you tell Quinn that you feel the same? It'll fix everything."_

_"No! I don't… I'm not…"_ I look at Max, trying to process what she just said._ "I'm not gay Max, I don't like girls like that…"_

_"Oh please, there's that look in your eyes when you talk about her."_ Max says,

_"How could you? No! That's not what this is at all!"_ I say, trying to put my thoughts in order. I mean, Quinn has a crush on Rachel, not on me. It wouldn't make any sense if I started to have feelings for her since she wouldn't like me back. I'm not Rachel, we have some things in common but we're very different. And it's not like I can like Quinn, I'm straight. I have a boyfriend and everything. I can't have feelings for a girl, it's… No.

_"What did I tell you? I'm an expert of the female brain." _Max nods. _"Talk to Quinn, I'm pretty sure that's all she's been waiting for."_

_"I'm straight Max, I have a boyfriend."_ I say, briefly thinking about Cory and the fact that I don't miss him at all.

_"Are you though? How do you feel when you look at your boyfriend and how do you feel when you look at Quinn? Go."_

_"I… Well, Cory makes me feel safe. He's been working out and… He… He's cool. He's a good man, always…." _The more words come out of my mouth, the more I realize that I have no idea what to say. It's been a while since I haven't seen Cory and well, he hasn't been on my mind much.

_"What about Quinn?"_ asks Max.

_"Quinn is special. She looks at you like if you were made out of porcelain. And if you ever fall you know that she will be there to catch you before you break against the cement floor." _I say,_ "When I look at Quinn I feel like everything is going to be alright, like… Like I'm safe, like I'm loved."_

_"See how easily that came out?"_

_"Max it's not that simple…" _I start. I can't have feelings for Quinn, I just can't. It doesn't make sense. She thinks I am someone else…

_"It is though. Quinn likes you and you like her. This is as simple as it gets."_

_"God Max. I can't…"_

_"Yes you can."_ She says as she puts a hand on my shoulder. _"You'll be much happier once this is out of your chest and so will she."_

_"What about Santana?"_ I ask.

_"How about you start by giving me her number?"_


	13. Chapter XIII : Progress

I can't stop thinking about Quinn. Ever since I left Max to head home after class yesterday, I've been trying to make sense of what she told me about the whole situation. Quinn liking Rachel did make a lot of sense. I re-read all of the scripts I had last night and it does make sense. They've known each other for more than 3 years, and the way Quinn acted towards Rachel was just… The typical behaviour of a closeted lesbian who is scared to face her feelings. I am not very good at reading people but it became obvious as soon as Santana mentioned it. Now I finally understand how Quinn feels, or at least I think I do. And I do think about her a lot. But this doesn't mean that I have feelings for her. I just- I care a lot.

How could I possibly have feelings for someone who was just a TV Show character to me up until 4 months ago anyways? I can't have feelings for Quinn, Dianna is one of my closest friends… Well, she was before I ended up here. And I can't have feelings for Quinn, I don't even know if I will ever go back home, and… I'm not Rachel! I can't just steal her these moments. That story with Quinn, it belongs to Rachel, it doesn't belong to me. Maybe I somehow just am too confused about this whole thing. Me being Rachel but not being Rachel. Maybe I should just tell Quinn the truth.

* * *

As soon as I exit my room first thing in the morning, I see Santana, holding her phone in front of my face. On the screen, a text message says "**Hello beautiful, this is Justin Bieber, will you be my One Less Lonely Girl?**"

_"You gave her my number? What were you thinking about?" _says Santana, rolling her eyes like she does it so well.

_"I thought it would be funny." _I chuckle, _"And it is, I'm satisfied."_

_"Yeah well, I'm not going to answer. You're going to find another way to entertain yourself."_

_"She actually kind of reminds me of Brittany you know."_ I say as I sit on the couch.

_"Are you insane?"_ Santana sits next to me.

_"I don't know anymore to be honest."_ I shrug,_ "But Max, it's like she reads people. We actually… Talked about Quinn."_ I say._ "I wanted to understand why she went to you if she has feelings for Rachel and Max had the perfect explanation."_

_"And what did she tell you? That Quinn used me to get to Rachel?"_ I nod._ "How surprising of her, that's what she does Lea. She uses people."_ Santana is rolling her eyes again. She does that a lot. _"And it didn't work because Rachel is gone and so Quinn probably has pink hair again now."_

_"You're so mean!" _I say, playfully poking Santana.

_"Not my fault. The bitch moaned someone else's name while I was working my magic on her. How would you react if that happened?" _She looks at me.

_"I-I wouldn't appreciate it either I guess."_ I'm not going to lie, but now that Max has put that stupid idea in my head that I might have feelings for Quinn, hearing about her adventure with Santana makes me kind of uncomfortable.

_"My point. Q is a bitch. She is hot, surprisingly kinky but she is and forever will stay a manipulative and emotionally fucked up bitch."_

_"I don't really need to know that."_ I say. _"I mean I know that you're mad but you shouldn't just… What happened in your bedroom should stay there I mean."_

_"Are you serious?" _Santana chuckles.

_"Do you think Rachel liked Quinn back?" _I say to change the topic. I can't just let myself believe what Max told me. I need to understand, I need to stop feeling so confused all the time.

_"Of course." _Santana nodded. _"Brittany kept telling me that the reason Rachel became over obsessed with Finn was because of Quinn. She didn't want Finn to have Quinn and so she kept chasing him. It makes sense eh?"_

I stay silent, staring at the coffee table, and nod. It does make sense. And it's sad. Sad because it feels like Quinn and Rachel belong together and I don't know where's my place in all of this.

_"Brittany also said that the reason why Rachel lost sight of her dreams at some point was because when you love someone your dream is worthless if it doesn't include them."_ Santana sighs._ "Did I already mention that she's always right?" _She looks at me. I can see the nostalgia in her eyes.

_"Yeah." _I say. _"I don't doubt it for a second. I think I need to talk to her." _I get up and walk towards my room.

_"What for?" _Santana asks.

_"I need to understand. I need to understand and I feel like Brittany could be helpful."_

_"Whatever you say, I'm gonna watch Family Guy without you then."_ She says.

I enter the room and close the door behind me. I then grab my laptop and sit on my open before I open it. I'm lucky enough to see Brittany online.

**Rachel Berry:** Shouldn't you be in class?

A couple of minutes later, I get an answer.

**Brittany Pierce: **I stayed home because Lord Tubbington is not feeling all right.

**Brittany Pierce: **How are you Lea?

**Rachel Berry: **I'm confused. I need your help.

**Brittany Pierce: **Did you find out about Quinn?

**Rachel Berry: **How did you…

**Brittany Pierce: **I don't know.

**Rachel Berry: **Look Brittany, I do believe the fact that Quinn and Rachel love each other but there's something else. It's a bit more complicated.

**Brittany Pierce: **What is it?

**Rachel Berry: **I'm not Rachel. I can't like Quinn back. Right?

I'm nervously rubbing the palms of my hands on my thighs while Brittany is typing an answer.

**Brittany Pierce:** Don't you think you're here for a reason?

**Rachel Berry: **I don't know why I'm here, I just… I woke up in Rachel's life I don't know why. It wasn't planned. I didn't even know it could happen.

**Brittany Pierce:** Everything happens for a reason Rachel.

**Rachel Berry: **I'm not Rachel.

**Brittany Pierce:** But Rachel isn't gone. Sometimes I can feel her. She's still here.

**Rachel Berry:** Where?

**Brittany Pierce: **Everywhere.

**Rachel Berry: **You're not making any sense.

**Brittany Pierce: **If you know about Quinn, don't you think you should talk to her?

**Rachel Berry:** Why am I here Brittany?

I look at the screen, waiting for Brittany to type something, anything. I'm sick of not knowing what's going on. I need help. The more I understand Quinn and Rachel's relationship, the more confused I feel about being trapped in that life. This is not my life, this is Rachel's and I'm stealing it from her. I look down at my sweating hands and back at the computer to see that Brittany finally decided to answer my question.

**Brittany Pierce: **Rachel needs your help.

**Rachel Berry: **With what?

Brittany goes offline.

_"Midget! There's a text for you on my phone. Why don't you start giving people your phone number instead of mine huh?"_ Santana opens my room's door and throws me the phone. _"Your new friends are creepy you know?" _She says before going back to the living room. I look at the phone's screen there's a new text from a blocked number.

**"Glad to see you're finally making some progress Lea. **

**You've been trapped. Trapped by Kaboosh."**


End file.
